Mabel, Black Label!

I've had a couple opportunities these past couple of weeks to spend time with some pretty neat dogs. Not only that, I've been having pup-heavy dreams the past few nights, which is exciting. AND Mythbusters last night was about dog myths. Pretty much the best week ever.

My mom had a friend of hers staying with us for about a week. He is a man named Art who is funny and kind of strange. Someone said he looked like Allen Ginsberg, which I would agree with. Art has a really fuzzy dog named Billie, who is very nice. She was staying with us too. She is very smart and does what she is told. Billie has really thick black fur that gets everywhere, and after she left my mom and I kept finding big piles of it everywhere. Some looked like dead guinea pigs. The only problem with Billie was that every morning she would jump up and down at the front door to go outside, which is right over my bed. This resulted in me yelling "shut the fuck uuuuup" until I realized that you should never get mad at a dog about wanting to go out and smell things. That is all they know and we cannot blame them for that. We should just not go to bed at 7 after drinking and eating toast all night. If we didn't do that then the jumping up and down wouldn't bother us at all.

My aunt got a puppy! Holy crap. Amazing. It is a GOLDENDOODLE. That is a Golden Retriever crossed with a Standard Poodle. It just looks like a Golden Retriever with wavy hair. Her name is Mabel and man, what a great puppy. She is the calmest thing ever. I mean it. Out of everything that exists, she is the calmest. She doesn't bark or jump around or get overly excited. She just hangs out. If you sit on the floor, she'll walk over and sit in your lap and fall asleep. I almost barfed when that happened. And if you're standing up she'll lie between your feet looking adorable. She was really long legs and giant paws, so she's all gangly and awkward. I wish I was hanging out with her right now! I bet we will be best friends. I will take her for walks and give her puppy baths and teach her how to hi-five and say "awesoooome".

My friend Rory also has a puppy named Elsa. He keeps posting pictures of her on the internet which makes me jealous. She is a German Shepherd and they are my favourite type of dog. I wish I could see her in real life, but Rory lives in England. I also wish I could see Rory in real life. Yesterday I missed him pretty badly, so I decided to get a picture of him blown up so that I can hang it on my wall. Hopefully I will get to go to England and then I don't have to settle for a stupid picture.

Last night I had good and also very annoying dream. The good part was that I was training pups how to do amazing things, like drop from helicopters and do flips in water and stuff. The annoying part was that boys I like had brought other girls to a party AND I lost my pizza in a port-o-potty. So lame.

Well that wasn't a spectacular update. Whatever, eat shit.

-S.F.

Some Day

Today I saw a beagle named Jimmy. He was wearing a weird harness that looked like a tiny little vest. I wonder what it would be like if dogs wore clothes all the time? Probably off putting. Although, a beagle in a little old fashioned bank teller's outfit would be cute. With the green visor and tiny gold rimmed glasses, all with a pen up behind his floppy ear. Looking at bank notes and tisking, paw up to mouth and what have you. Adorable.

There's this nice dog at the dog park named Kayla. She just stands beside you and lets you pet her, doesn't get excited really. I like that. Like a pal just hanging out, looking at the skyline with you. If she could talk, I'm sure we'd have conversations about construction and trees and other plain things that we can see. Those are the best conversations. The ones where you just talk about the things in front of you. "Look at that fantastic puzzle book." "That is a book filled with puzzles!" "You bet!" etc.

I was reading all about Laika the other day, which is something I like to do from time to time. If you don't know who Laika is well geez! Any little dog that gets blasted into space should have a statue of itself in every town. Or better yet, a whole town dedicated to it. And not like a Disneyland town, with fake cottages and themed shops and fat kids eating too much ice cream and crapping themselves everywhere. Those towns suck and I wish they would just call them zones or quadrants because picturing myself living in a place like that is chilling. I mean a real town where humans live and love. Like Banff. Only, Laika. Anyways, she wore a little space helmet and they sent her into orbit and she totally died.

I'm hoping to see more puppies. Haven't seen a baby dog in a while, and they are preeeeeetty cute. Have you ever seen their paws? Did you know that they are so tiny?

-S.Ford